she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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