then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
