I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize