i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
