It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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