covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize