Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
