I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
