Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
