fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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