i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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