I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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