How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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