Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
