its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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