I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize