I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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