Your face is a jimmy john
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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