It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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