i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
