Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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