i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm like, not good at living.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
