Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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