Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
