Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize