margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
