Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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