and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
