Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
