Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
