dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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