I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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