He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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