i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
