Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize