Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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