I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
please come you make the beer taste better
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
