Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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