It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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