how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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