For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
