i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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