Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize