walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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