also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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