too bad you live with your parents still
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
