Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
