You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
