I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
