dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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