Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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