were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
