i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
