quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
