i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
