roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
