he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
