Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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