In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
