I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
