This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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