There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
