I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
