You really coming over, don't trick.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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