IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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