I hate your face
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize