I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
